Friday, April 29, 2016

Some photos again...

Just some photos I've taken recently.
I'm still enamoured by the scilla, they won't be here much longer.
The tree leaves are just beginning to peek out, I watch them carefully and yet I'm always surprised when they pop!
And I had to include a couple of pics of my girls. When I stood on a chair to take photos of the buds,  my dogs suspected squirrel activity and came to investigate. I love their intensity.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Good night.

I have always struggled with sleep. Struggled to fall asleep, stay asleep and to not have night terrors. Over time it's gotten better, I have developed a strategy to quiet my racing thoughts. Different things depending on my mental state; I might imagine a peaceful scene, or listen to my breath or silently chant the hare krishna.
The last few nights an old and painful memory from my childhood has been creeping in to derail my brain train. I tried to envision things that brought me light; the sweet blue flowers outside my window, a golden meadow that stretched out before me but nothing seemed to push the darkness out. As I lay there in the dark I realized that if I only opened my eyes I would see my greatest source of light - my darling husband. His light has lit a path for me to be able to do the hard work of working on myself. He has been my greatest comfort and my biggest motivator.
So I opened them and there before me was a pillow! With his arm wedged under it, the pillow rose between us. It gave me a smile and I pushed it down and saw him sleeping peacefully. What worries could I have as I reached to hold his hand? The past is in the past. I am here now, loved and loving, snuggled in with my best friend and our dogs and all is well.

Edited to add: I had this written last night and managed to delete it. Sad lesson learned about saving my work in progress.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016


A couple of weeks ago I was poking around the detritus in my garden, searching for signs of spring, and I stumbled upon this pine cone nestled on shoots of green. It was so sweet and delicate, I had to snap a photo. Then last week I checked to see if it was still there, and happily it was. Today I went back again.
There's just something about this little pine cone surrounded by spring's green glow that draws me in and inspires me to follow suit.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Life in purple

I have to be honest and admit Prince's passing caused me to shed a few tears. And so I went outside to see what there was to see. Of course I had to take some photos of the scilla siberica, purple petals glowing in the sun.

Life goes on, for me and for you and I like to think for Prince too. His energy flows on and on...

"Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word, life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you
There's something else
The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness"

Saturday, April 16, 2016

With apologies to George Harrison

Every morning a little black dog climbs upon my chest to wake me up. I call her my little ray of sunshine, because even on the darkest of days she reminds me of the power of love.
When I first adopted Georgie two years ago I was in a dark place. I had lost my 12 year old dog to a suspected brain tumour after a brief and devastating illness. We were broken in this house, stumbling around in the darkness and simply going through the motions. There was plenty of blame and anger and sadness to go around, but no love or light or laughter and that had to change. So I began a search for a new dog despite my husband's opposition. It didn't take me long to find a small black dog who was described as "very much longing to fit in somewhere and just wants to be loved for who she is". Well then, don't we all? So I went to meet her and when I saw how well she fit with our other dog, I knew she would be coming home.

From the beginning she was a ray of sunshine and because she had come home in early spring, after a "long cold lonely winter" I named her Georgie. From the first she slept at the foot of our bed and, for many months, if she woke in the middle of the night she would crawl up next to me and nuzzle me for some pets. I got the feeling that she wanted to be sure I was still there and having confirmed that she was content to return to the foot of the bed. Come morning she would return and lay upon my chest, her tail thumping against my leg. It's her way of letting me know that she is ready to face the day that spreads before us and don't I want to get up and join her? I do, indeed.

Georgie is a funny little dog. Half dachshund and half blue heeler and full of mischief. She is the smartest dog I've ever owned and keeps me on my toes. She lives to be outside and rainy days like today are spent staring out the window. She is my biggest and best motivator: to wake up, to laugh, to soak up the sunshine, to go for a walk, to inspect the puddles, to play a game, to hike in the woods... We do it all together. She is the dog I've always wanted, the dog I've always needed, and if I am to believe the rescue's advert for her - the dog whose super power is love.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Just a few photos...

The past little while I've been taking lots of photos, something I really enjoy doing. I've had some encouragement and decided to share the pics on my blog.

Finally a spring day and once out of work, I tried to make the most of it. Just doing a little experimenting with light and shadows. The first 2 shots I took downtown after work; I really love the caribou sculpture, I've yet to capture it's essence.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

A poem

I want to be a crow
And caw caw caw my way
Across the sky.
Not caring
About what anyone thought
While I ate roadkill or garbage.
Not worrying about
How loud I was,
Not ever.
Everyday would be a party.
Doing as I pleased,
Surrounded by family and friends.

The words just came to me, almost as a complete thought as I sat and listened to the crows on my street. I know they're building a nest, although I haven't figured out exactly which tree. The crows speak to me often. Some people fear them, think they are a harbinger of deaths, but I trust them.

Sunday, April 03, 2016

Am I who I've imagined?

Standing at the kitchen sink this afternoon, peeling potatoes and listening to curling on the TV in the next room. I was thinking about how much easier life would be if I had some chickens, then I could feed the peels to my flock. Isn't that what people do? Wouldn't that be easier than putting them in the compost collector under the sink, only to have to be emptied outside and then I'd have to wash the container. So much easier to throw them out my back door for the chickens.

At least I like to think it would be so in my imagined life. The one where we live out at our cottage, and I have chickens and hopefully some donkeys. That's the dream, that's the reason I go to work every day, that's the vision that motivates me. Every. Day. It's such a nice life that I've imagined.

But then it struck me, is this life that I'm living - right now - ever been one that I've imagined? Standing in my kitchen, waiting for more snow (in April!), making scalloped potatoes while I listen to curling? No, I have never laid in bed on a sleepless night and imagined myself here. But here is where I am, and I rather quite enjoy it. Hubby puttering in the basement, dogs napping in the sun spot and me in the kitchen, doing what I do best - cooking. It's a pretty nice place to be!

Little pieces of me, placed upon a shelf.