Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Summer storm

Like most of North America, it has been unusually hot here lately. At one point today the humidex was 44°c (111°f) and, while I relish the heat, I'm afraid that is just a bit too hot. Certainly too hot to cook, so hubby grilled a steak and I made a salad. As I chopped the veggies I thought about what I was going to do next week when I'm on holidays. I have some fun things planned but I kept some time open, to see what inspiration strikes.

After supper we put on the TV, but there was nothing but mindless entertainment and news. I am tired of the news from Cleveland, so when I saw a storm brewing I headed outside. The sky was positively green and the lightning near constant. My neighbour came out to photograph the clouds as they  were putting on quite a show. There we stood, necks craned to the sky watching the way they rolled and swirled and billowed like smoke from an imaginary fire. A few drops began to fall and each of us retreated to our respective stoops. Georgie, a devotee of all things outdoors, came to join me. It was still hot and I reached out my arms to catch the coolness. I rubbed it on my hot neck and felt the breeze. I made up my mind that next week, when the brain train arrives I will go and stand outside in the night air. I want to smell the earth and sky until I am ready to return to sleep. That sounds like a good plan. My little dog and I watched the spectacle side by side until we were more wet than dry.

Hubby said he was off to bed with Minnow and would watch the storm from there. Georgie and I headed out back to the screened in porch. The wind was roaring and the trees danced back and forth to an orchestra of thunder, illuminated by nature's light show. The rain eased and my girl seized her chance to play once more. And slowly the sky turned from grey green to golden. I stepped out to get a better view of the changing sky and was astonished to see a rainbow stretched across my horizon. Once again my neighbour appeared and we marvelled at its brilliance. A raging tempest turned into a colourful display. The light always follows the darkness and we must not forget.

The air has cooled, the lightning finally ceased and George is happily chewing a stick. It's time for George and I to join the others and prepare to meet the new day. I don't think that train will be stopping here tonight.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Awake

The Brain Train showed up at 3:57 am today, a bit later than usual but unwelcome nonetheless. I did all the usual things; fluff my pillow, close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing but I remained awake. My hubby stirred and reached for my hand and held it. But even his sleepy tenderness couldn't calm me back to sleep.

I longed to get up and stand in the yard. Smell the approaching morning and feel the cool air on my skin. Instead I laid still and listened to the morning wake. A blue jay called to its mate. And then a call back. A crow awoke and cawed his creaky good morning. I stayed quiet.

A half an hour passed and hubby woke for work, no alarm clock for this man. He wakes when he has to, a trait that I envy. He can also fall asleep faster than anyone I have ever known, something I can't imagine. I got up with him and he hugged me and suggested I go cuddle with my dog. I climbed back into bed and woke a comatose Georgie and hugged her like a stuffed toy. A quick kiss and an 'I love you' from the husband and I was left with just over an hour until I needed to be up.

I managed to fall back into a deep slumber and was startled by the alarm clock. The morning routine fell into place but 4am lingered in my mind. I wish I had the freedom to escape my bed and sit with the birds. To watch the moon set and the sun rise without any worries. I'm getting there, at least I hope I am.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

In the garden

I can't find the words to describe
The light through the lilies.

The bean vines reach higher and higher Towards the sun.

And even though the sun is setting
I have hope for tomorrow.

Thursday, July 07, 2016

Rise up

Oh what an emotional day I've had today. 
A rare day off in the middle of the week, we've been slow at work and each of us is taking extra time off - spreading the poverty, so to speak. Oh the 'perks' of working for mom and pop businesses! I slept in a bit (if 6:45 is sleeping in) and then got up to feed the girls and have some tea. I turned on CBC and my phone to hear the news and check in with the world. By 7am I had seen an innocent man die and I was gutted. Full sobs for someone I will never know, someone whose life was cut short due to fear and distrust. Simply heartbreaking, made worse that it occurred in my adopted home state of Minnesota.

It set the mood for the day. A day full of household chores and, sadly, another broken phone incident. Once again I dropped my phone and this time broke the camera. Let me tell you, I feel like I am cursed with this phone! In the year I've had it, it's had 3 major injuries - all of them due to my own clumsiness.  I am struggling to see what lesson there is to be learned from this experience. All three accidents occurred when I was in a rush or preoccupied by something else. I'm going to have to take more time and be more present in the moment, to pay attention to the now. But of course my initial reaction was to lay blame on myself, which resulted in more tears. And of course by the time my hubby came home from work I was in a state of disrepair as well.

My husband, the wise sage that he is, told me to relax. He tried to console me, "I know you like to take a lot of pictures, but it's just a broken camera." He didn't understand that that was the exact reason I was upset. I laid on the bed for a while, trying to calm down. Georgie hopped up on the bed to lick my tears and hubby called from the kitchen to come have a drink and sit outside with him. So I did. The sun came out after a grey day and it soothed my rough patches.

We came in to watch the news but all of it was bad and soon I was crying again. I don't know how much more senseless violence I can stomach. A friend tried to tell me that an uprising is coming and I responded I wasn't emotionally strong enough for an uprising. It hurts my heart to see how far we have fallen. So many lives seem to be ruled by fear, they can't imagine that we are all brothers and sisters. All isn't lost, there are pockets of people who care deeply about all of us. I am proud to be among them.

I think I need to go and get some rest, so I can be ready for tomorrow. There's an uprising coming...